grand scheme.....?

       these days it's easy to get lost.  we run around and get all tangled up in the every day life.  it happens more often then we think and if unchecked it can end up running our lives.  we are not weak for letting it happen, we are part of the herd though, sadly.  think about when rain falls.  one drop after another, at first only milling about in the street just wanting to be traipsed threw by happy little feet.  but then before you know it they start working their way toward a "goal", the drain.  funny, all that work to go no where.  and as more and more rain falls they go from a trickle to a rush and ultimately a flood that can up root even the biggest of trees.  we are no different.  on our way to work we are happy (or should be) to have a job.  then some one passes us and that makes us want to pass the slow ass in front of us....."doesn't he understand how important it is that i get to work at exactly 0700?".  there are these days and then the days when you just feel like crap.  nothing is going as planed, your job sucks, people suck, the world is in a never ending downward spiral and we are circling the drain.

     so what's the magic thought that pulls me out of the craper.  "i am meaningless."  not in a self hate, i wear black and cut myself kind of way.  but in a....nothing in the universe shifted and we are going to collide with the sun kind of way.  a thought that makes me feel so small and trivial also makes me feel at ease and safe.  when i get to work at 0715 instead of 0700 i look up at the sky, let go of my angst and laugh when i realize that no part of it is falling apart.  in the truest sense of it, the things that we are soooo worried about truly are of little or NO importance.

  i am a crumb on gods table cloth looking up at him as he chomps away sloppily at his blt.  less, in the grand scheme of things i am a speck of dust in the corner under a dresser and the things that i am worried about are meaningless.  there is some sort of comfort in this.  i can go back to just being a kid, i can let go of my worries, i can go outside and splash in the rain.  the sky is not going to fall.