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this is a place for my random thoughts, memories and to act as a general place for me to flush out the many things that i postulate on. it is intended for no purpose what so ever other than to entertain myself and practice my writing. maybe in some distant future my boys will find this and be able to take a peak inside their dad's mind. i am speaking to no one in particular and one of things that i want to concentrate on heavily is to keep the narcissism out of this blog. i will not win the noble peace prize with it and don't want to. i do not want to get into the habit of checking it a thousand times a day to see if i got any likes or comments. i want this space to be as real and close to resembling me as possible and vise verse.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

......

...... he slid and shifted his weight, moving slowly from elbow to hip...hip to hand...hand to butt.  as he sagged back against the red brick wall of a mediocre building that cut the world off from this dingy ally he noticed a piece of glass sticking out of his palm.  with all the pain he was in the glass shard and it's attempt to add discomfort were inconsequential.  "not good" he thought only half interested in his dreamy daze.  his attention was drawn upward at the hulking mass of his ox like attacker.

     the man in a gruff and distant voice, "ready?".

     "shit no." he thought as he slowly came to realize the severity of his situation.  it was not a beautiful day, this was not a good place.  but for all his good intentions and attempts and heroism he knew.  this would be the time and place.  for a fleeting moment he began to regret his futile attempts, started to get pissed off at the fact that he wasn't going to come away from this one with the big win.  it was only a second and then he let it slip away as he did with so many things.  his thoughts became more lucid... "that wasn't the point, you knew there was no winning this.  be happy that you let them know not everyone will lay down for them.  you planted the seed of fear, and it's gonna grow like a bitch."  the ox shifted his weight snapping jack out of his self appeasing thought.  he, the ox, was clearly impressed and was being more gracious than he knew was safe.  "screw your grace", the thought that pushed jack to his answer.  he gave a broken but genuine smile and slowly coughed up a laugh.  it was his last act of defiance.  he was going to give them the finger one more time.  the more he thought about how it would piss them off the harder he laughed.

"son of bitch" muttered the ox with a half smile of his own as he closed the distance between them.........

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