junkie....

watching national geograhic taboo.  they are talking about junkies.  the one i take notice of is adreniline junkies.  they say these people are junkies and they feel the same thing as crack addicts.  is that really it?  the definition is that if you do something that is "dangerous" and have felt or know the "consequences" but continue to do it then you are a junkie.  really?  cuz every day i go to or come home from work on my bike i almost die.  really.  bu t i continue to do it.  and to be honest i keep looking fo r ways to "up the stakes".  i don't wear a helmet, i speed, i start shit with cars while i am on a very vonerable bike.  why.  they say that to feel like nothing else matters is more of a sign that you are addicted.  the base jumper says he is more alive than most other people will ever know. .. i have to agree with him.   those other people are dead already.  but maybe i am crazy.  did you know that you can become addicted to gaming.  there was a couple that let their baby die becase they were "to busy".   hmmmmm 



to be reformed.

many clubs...

     deer crossing saloon.  i have never even heard of the place and had it not been for a friend inviting me out there to a gathering of Motorcycle Clubs i still wouldn't.  it was a short ride from a usual meet up spot that feels like the middle of the city.  however, once there if you were not able to see the freeway from the bars lot you would think that you were in the middle of nowhere.  which is an interesting feeling when you don't wear colors on your back and you are in the middle of about 20 different clubs totaling out to be about 100 - 150 riders.  i have been riding for a while.  always by myself.  this is the first time that i have considered joining any club let alone a motorcycle club.  being there reminded me of a feeling i had one day when i was a kid.  i had gone on a trip with my dad and we stopped somewhere in new mexico.  the guy in line in front of us at a gas station had this huge six shooter hanging off his hip.  for some reason i wasn't scared, maybe because when everyone is carrying you know that people are less likely to fuck with each other.  who wants to get shot over some silly shit.  not many.  i don't know if any of these guys were carrying or not,  but what i do know is that nobody wanted to be the guy that started shit that was not going to be acceptable to anybody. 

after all that takes place at one of these events about 10 of us rode to a friends house.  it was more of the same.  you see when you ride alone people fuck with you.  really.  they cut you off, ride your ass and even try to share lanes with you.  all the time not really giving a shit at how quickly they could end your life.  BUT, when you ride in a group you have been made more of an equal.  who wants to be the guy that rides the last riders ass when he's trailing 9 other burly ass looking animals.  not many.  so maybe the animals have it right.  there is safety in numbers.

thinkers...

some people are good thinkers.  they think and think and come up with shit that can blow your mind away.  these people are capable of creating great arts of work.  and then there are some that over think.  i mean really.  they paint a beautiful picture and then ruin it by going back over it a thousand times to make "improvements".  there are some that take things that have been given to us and blow them all to shit with nonsense.  this is how i feel about the church and people that attend it.  or the people that write, sing, preach about and in general use God.  he is perfect just the way he is and i can feel and hear him just the way i am.  i don't need you to talk him to death.  i don't need to here you talk about what YOU think it all means.  most of YOU people are driving more people away from the church than you are bringing there.  and that is not a bad thing in some cases.  the church has developed into a country club for people who can't afford to go to richy rich ones.  you see them investing so much time into it, which would be a good thing, if they were not investing that time in order to receive "status" as a return.  hhhmmmmm.  think about that one.  rant complete.

180 miles

410, 151, 471, 1283, 16, 173, 87, 10, 410. it took about 8 hours.  there is something about being on the bike.  it brings you to that moment.  "you never feel alive like you were alive at fight club."  he should have road a motorcycle.  when i start thinking about work, trouble....bs in general.  i just look down at the pavement whizzing by at 70 miles per hour.  that's right boy-O, there she is, life.  right beneath your feet. you are in this moment.  one little slip and you'll know it even more than you did a second before that.  you feel the wind, the bumps in the road. you can hear the cars passing you.  other motorcyclists wave and you know they are saying to themselves...."yeah baby".  and then you find some little town to stop in and a chair or wall to lean up against.  it's like sitting back stage watching another few actors on stage, waiting for your turn to go out but enjoying the moment of being on the shelf.  you can see the actors reveling in the now-ness of life and the audience wondering what it would feel like to be so alive and at the same time lost in the story.  and then, that's it.  the food was good and the beers were cold but it's time to get back out into the sun.  30min,....an hour...it's been long enough.  i could do it again and again and again.  i hope everyone has SOMETHING that they are passionate about.